We're Not Married! (1952)

We're Not Married - 1952

Coming up next is 1952's "We're Not Married!", an anthology romantic comedy that examines what happens when five supposedly married couples find out they're not really married.  When a justice of the peace begins marrying people before his appointment is legal, the State must send out letters to everyone he married at that time.  The couples who receive these letters must decide whether to stay together or find a new chance at happiness.

The film's ensemble includes Ginger Rogers, Fred Allen, Victor Moore, Marilyn Monroe, David Wayne, Eve Arden, Paul Douglas, Eddie Bracken, Mitzi Gaynor, Louis Calhern, Zsa Zsa Gabor, James Gleason, and Jane Darwell.

The story begins on Christmas Eve in the marriage town of Gretna Green, where Melvin Bush has just been appointed a Justice of the Peace.  On the very day he receives his appointment letter, he also marries his first couple.  In all, he marries six couples before the New Year.

Two and a half years later, one of the couples is filing for divorce.  The state where they were married can find no record of their marriage taking place.  So the governor of the state that contains Gretna Green looks into the matter and finds that Melvin Bush's appointment didn't begin until January 1 and he had begun marrying people on Christmas Eve.  The five other couples have to be notified, and the governor's secretary sends out letters in the governor's name.

Couple number 1 happen to be radio personalities Steve and Ramona Gladwyn, who host a morning breakfast program.  After two and a half years, the couple can no longer stand each other.  "I'll say one thing about our marriage," says Ramona.  "If there's such a thing as a marriage un-jackpot, I've hit it!"  Steve responds with "I ask for very little on this program.  Simply that Mrs. Gladwyn drop dead."

When the two find out that they are not legally married, they are overjoyed.  However, things don't look bright for their futures as the radio station signed them as a husband and wife and won't continue the show unless they are married.  They must decide what they want to do.

Couple number 2 is Jeff and Annabel Norris.  She's a beauty queen who has just won the "Mrs. Mississippi" title with her sights on becoming the next "Mrs. America", and he's a stay-at-home husband and father who resents that his wife is never home.  He loves his wife, but just doesn't appreciate that she's never there.

After he reads the letter saying they are not married, he tells her that he's cabled the "Mrs. America" board and told them she's no longer eligible.  He gets the surprise of his life when she reacts favorably to the news.

We find out that she is now eligible for the "Miss Mississippi" pageant (which she wins) and is also eligible to become "Miss America".  She's thrilled at the chance as the "Mrs. America" pageant didn't have near the money or the publicity as "Miss America".  Her husband has come around and is in the audience with their son cheering her on.

Couple number three is Hector and Kate Woodruff, a middle class couple who have just run out of things in common.  While listening to the radio one night, he hears a song that he remembers from the Latin Quarter in New Orleans.  He asks her if she remembers it.  She tells him she's never been in the Latin Quarter and it must've been with someone else.

Once he reads the governor's letter, he goes into a daydream, imagining all the fun he could have and the women he could date.  But then he decides he couldn't keep up the pace, and so, he decides to burn the letter before his wife has a chance to read it.

The wedding register for couple number 4 (Frederic and Eve Melrose) is enough to tell us that this marriage isn't heading for happiness.  Look at all the bride's last names.  She's registered as Eve Stanton Cooper Marshall Winton Prasma-Fiersteiner.  And eventually adds Melrose to that long list.  (In reality, Zsa Zsa Gabor, who plays Eve, at this time was married to George Sanders.  It was her third of nine marriages.)

Wealthy oilman Frederic Melrose is on his way to New Orleans for business.  Eve suggests that she fly over later that night and they can spend some time together.  He readily agrees.  What he doesn't know is that Eve has a very different plan in mind.  She tells him to have champagne ready and to register for the both of them.

She arranges for a woman to arrive at his room and give the appearance of an extramarital affair so she can initiate divorce proceedings in her favor.  Later, when she arrives at Frederic's offices with her lawyer, she plans to nearly bankrupt him in the divorce settlement.  Naturally, he's overjoyed when he is able to read the governor's letter.

As he goes over the finances with Eve and her lawyer, he corrects their figures to more accurate amounts, which, of course, thrills Eve.   She thinks she's getting much more than she originally thought.  When the lawyer leaves the room, Frederic passes Eve the governor's letter and she passes out cold.  Frederic asks her lawyer to come back in and collect her as he lights up a cigar.

Our fifth and last couple is Willie and Patsy Fisher.  He's on a train leaving for active duty and she's very late to see him off.  When she does arrive, the train is already in motion.  She shouts to him that the doctor says they are expecting a baby.  Later on the train, Willie says he couldn't stand it if he was killed in action and his wife was left to raise their baby as illegitimate.  He jumps off the train and goes AWOL.

He sends her a telegram and she meets up with him at a place they can get married.  However, events and time are not in their favor.  The military police are out to get him, and Willie and Patsy have to sneak around and avoid them in order to get that elusive marriage certificate.

They do catch him and place him under arrest, escorting him to his ship.  As Patsy watches the ship depart, a Navy chaplain sees her distress and asks if he can help.  She tells him the whole story.

The chaplain goes into action.  He arranges for a "radio wedding".  Willie takes part on the ship as the chaplain reads the service on land.  Willie is extremely relieved once he and Patsy are married.

As the film ends, we find that three of the other couples have married again as well.  Jeff and Annabel Jones tie the knot with Jeff holding their son.

Hector and Kate Woodruff get married surrounded by their family and friends in a much bigger ceremony than their first.

And Steve and Ramona Gladwyn decide to give things another go.  This time they get some rice thrown on them at their City Hall ceremony (a luxury they did not have the first time, which Steve said was bad luck).

Cast rundown:

   Ginger Rogers..................................Ramona Gladwyn

   Fred Allen........................................Steve Gladwyn

   Victor Moore....................................Judge Melvin Bush

   Marilyn Monroe................................Annabel Norris

   David Wayne...................................Jeff Norris

   Eve Arden.......................................Kate Woodruff

   Paul Douglas...................................Hector C. Woodruff

   Eddie Bracken..................................Willie Fisher

   Mitzi Gaynor.....................................Patsy Fisher

   Louis Calhern...................................Frederic Melrose

   Zsa Zsa Gabor..................................Eve Melrose

   James Gleason.................................Duffy

   Jane Darwell....................................Mrs. Bush

And that's a wrap on We're Not Married!.  A sixth segment was actually filmed.  Walter Brennan and Hope Emerson were supposed to be an older, backwoods couple.  The segment was deleted from the film, though no reason was given.

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